To enhance the writing of this article, I have The Little Mermaid Disney movie playing in the background and I am sitting in front of my computer in full snorkling equipment. It is rather hard to type, but I feel we reviewers need to really get into the game, yes even live it, so to speak. This is how I would imagine actors like Dustin Hoffman would introduce this review, however at the risk of ruining the atmosphere I have just created, I am in fact sitting in a pair of Homer Simpson shorts with pizza stains down the front of my Iron Maiden t-shirt.

Only Nintendo could release a game like Endless Ocean which like many wacky far eastern games has no overriding objective but  instead immerses you in a weird (and sometimes quite wonderful ) environment. You swim around with a dolphin companion, an underwater pen and a camera simply making notes on all the underwater life you encounter.

Those of you still awake will be pleased to hear it really isn't quite as lame as it sounds and developer Akira (who created the Street Fighter EX series) have actually produced a rather convincing and well executed underwater environment. Action thrill seekers had better look elsewhere however as the gameplay is all very slow paced and relaxing, rather than a fragfest of guts and gore.

To begin the game you choose either a male or a female form, tanned or pale with hair loose or tied back. Yes, clothes are compulsory so you can't end up with a Nude Jessica Alba from "Into The Blue" (damn!). You can then name the character and after doing so you are deposited onboard a private ship and the exploration fiasco begins.

Surprisingly your role in the game is of a tour guide and part time researcher. A female scientist acts as your guide throughout the game via text on screen. The text appears to have taken a rather poor english translation somewhere down the line, so ends up funny for all the wrong reasons.

The controls are extremely easy to master, you can either hold the B button to initiate swimming or press down on the minus button to turn on the auto swim option. To steer and guide the characters head to look around the environment you move the little blue dot around the edges of the screen. The Wii nunchuks aren't needed and all the controls are mapped to the remote, including the item menu and the map view. Thankfully unlike many a game the camera system seems to work well and is fixed behind your character and you can enter first person mode at any time. Entering first person mode means you can zoom in to focus on a patch of reef or aquatic lifeform you encounter, it unfortunately doesn't mean you can whip out an RPG and take down a few whales.

Endless Ocean is a very relaxing game to play and shares many of the in game mechanics with other titles in this genre. During the game you receive emails of new missions, objectives and story history and it is the players choice to decide if they are worthy of being pursued. The freedom is quite refreshing and you will notice that the developers have even included day and night cycles as well as the seasons of the year. This brings another edge to the game as certain species of aquatic life are only available at different times of the year and in specific places. Unfortunately this feeling of total freedom is somewhat limited, when you are offered guided tours, you have to respond within a seven day time frame.  Furthermore these limitations are extended to the areas you are allowed to explore, if you wish to extend your zone of movement, you have to climb back into your boat and choose a new location. It sounds fine in theory but given the fact that you can re-enter the boat at any time during the game, you would think that the guy driving would continue to follow you rather than just stopping and saying "ok I'm not moving into any other zone until you get your ass back in the boat for a minute!"

If this all sounds a little too free form for your tastes you are asked to escort AI divers on mini expeditions to find different underwater creatures. While this sounds refreshing and a little more focused, they do quickly become repetitive, quite often I wished we would run into killer sharks just to see them being mauled to death. If you do manage to complete these escort missions you then get an email from the client giving you a score on how well you did and are even sometimes sent new outfits and equipment. As much as I love playing dress up with barbie dolls I wondered why I wasn't actually being paid money !

There are other sub quests such as photographing and cataloguing and you can hunt along the seabed and coral formations for sunken and lost artefacts. As mundane as these sound they do add a little background to the game via the emails and cutscenes, however they are all entirely voluntary and are all tracked from onboard your ship. As I mentioned briefly earlier, you can get acquainted with creatures such as dolphins and porpoises who will join you on your journey. You can even name these lovable little rogues and enhance their abilities by training them. Unfortunately as much as I tried I couldn't train them to be the killers I wanted, however they could perform a rather nifty backflip or two. Another hidden benefit of having a fishy friend underwater is that they are able to point out places of interest such as hidden objects. I wasn't aware a dolphin had x ray vision mind you, but it is an interesting aspect to bring into the gameplay.

If this didn't sound dumb enough, you will be pleased to hear that interacting with the sea life and birds takes this a step further because in order to collate the data you need to become their buddy. This requires you to lock onto them then by pressing A to poke them repeatedly, then by pressing A and shaking the remote to pat them. Alternatively you can feed them by calling up fish food with the D pad. I was looking for the "do you come here often?" chat up lines, but sadly the developers seem to have left that one out of the mix. The outcome of all this work is that the aquatic lifeform glitters for an instant and a fact file is opened up in your journal. This is rather like getting the telephone number of a nice blonde lady in a night club, just without having to buy her a lot of vodka.

Still with me? The next stage means you can take these uncovered creatures to an aquarium for display and in the tanks you can deposit any combination of these based on their size. I am still not exactly sure why but like much in this game, you just go with the flow (no pun intended).

All the silly negatives aside, Endless Ocean is huge in scale and while you are limited to the diversity of Aquatic life you will encounter underwater, the world is virtually endless. I had played this game for 24 hours and still hadn't explored all the territory. Equally so, the graphics, while being limited to the Nintendo Wii's 480p resolution are quite breathtaking in quality. It does show you what the little console is capable of delivering, especially when you study the texture detail. All manner of sea life and coral reefs are realistically reproduced and it is clear that the designers spent considerable time going over all the underwater graphics to create a detailed world. Self shadowing and bloom are also in abundance and combined with the richly saturated environments, it all creates a lovely atmosphere. Unfortunately all is not peachy when we talk about the graphics. When you get into the boat it all takes a turn for the worse. The animation of the characters is extremely poor, just imagine a couple of 14 year old Japanese graphics students using Poser and Studio Max for the first time, yes it is that bad. Either that or the characters both have a serious case of haemorrhoids. Another downside are the invisible barriers which stop you approaching the mainland, however in fairness I think this was to be expected!

Music is supplied by Hayley Westenra across 10 tracks ranging from the title track to ingame locational spot music. It fits in with the game perfectly, as it is airy, watery and choral. That said if you aren't a fan of ambient style music Nintendo allow you to import your own Mp3s from the Wii's SD card. I immediately had AC/DC's "Back to Black" as well as Pantera's "By Demons Be Driven" on the playlist.

By now you will have already made your mind up, and I am guessing the overwhelming majority who have read this review will not be purchasing the game. Unfortunately you would be missing a rather charming game which can almost lure you into a state of meditation. The pace is slow, the environments are rich and the gameplay is surprisingly addictive. For those of you however who occasionally like a change of pace then I suggest you at least hire the game out for a night, you might be pleasantly surprised !